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Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Mike

 There is something about VRBO owners (and caretakers), I’ll tell you.  We’ve met many in our time.  They are all very, very nice.  They are also very, very weird – each in their own weird way.  Remember Al & Sandra from Roatan?  He never wore a shirt and she never came out of the house, except to golf.  The folks we rented from in Belize were 70-year old pot farmers.   Here in Utila, we have Mike - the caretaker for the house we’re renting. 

As I said in my previous post, Mike is a gringo who reportedly closed up shop in Florida and moved to Utila. I suspect there may be more to that story, but we’ll see if it becomes apparent as the week goes on.  What I do know, after spending less than 30 minutes with him over the past three days, is that he is a professional bullshitter.  You know the type, right?  Sounds like he knows what he’s talking about but, when the rubber hits the road, there’s nothing to it.  Here’s some supporting evidence:

Monday morning, the power in the house went out at about 9 am.  No big deal, we’ve seen this on Roatan, so are used to it.  When we arrived on Saturday, we had even asked Mike about power outages on Utila.  He had assured us that they “hardly ever happen” and, when they do, there’s a notice on Facebook. 

Mike arrived about 9:30 am to fill the water tank for showering, etc.  We tell him that the power is out, and I thought I saw a flicker of surprise cross his face.  True to his bullshitter nature, however, he quickly recovers with a big smile and says “Yeah, it’s out all over town. There wasn’t a notice on Facebook, though, so should be a short one.  It happens all the time.”  Really?  All the time?  Yesterday you said “hardly ever”, but we’ll let that one slide. 

We spend the entire day without power, and cancel our plans to use the day to wander around town and get our bearings.  Doesn’t seem to be much point if no one has any power, right?  Instead, we spend a (admittedly) lovely day at the house, reading and enjoying the view.  (Note:  it was too windy Sunday & Monday to do any snorkeling in front of the house.  It’s much better today, however.) 

About 3 pm, hunger forces us to reevaluate our trip to town.  We did get that quick stop at the grocery with Taxi Hank, but that was mostly for essentials (dish soap, dairy, etc.), and the snacks we brought in that extra suitcase cannot be formulated in to anything that could be considered a meal.  We had planned to stock up on real food when we were in town today.  We check out the list of numbers hanging by the phone and make a call to Skid Row, where we ate the first night we arrived.  I say a cheerful hello, and ask if they have power.  The dude slowly drawls out a confused “Y-ee-ssss?”  When I inquire if it was out at all today I get a similarly confused but opposite response of “N-ooo-ooo?”  Within 30 minutes we’re sitting at Skid Row enjoying a couple of sandwiches (steak for me; shrimp po’boy for Andrew), fries and two rum & lemonades (for those who are interested, total was $15 with tip).  We’re also enjoying their free wifi and see that there is, in fact, a post on Facebook that states the power will be out on our end of the island only from 9 am – 4 pm.  Thanks, Mike. 

Since we’re in town, we decide to walk a bit and pick up a few more groceries.  The supply boat comes in on Tuesday, so there are slim pickings in the way of produce, but we find some sandwich fixings and some real cream for coffee (sorry milk fans, it just doesn’t cut it in our opinion).  We arrive home about 6 pm to power – yay! 

The other issue we’ve had, so far, with Mike is the broadband card.  We are not people who like to be too disconnected from the World Wide Web.  I’d like to say otherwise, but I’d be lying.  We had inquired with the owners (before leaving the US) about internet and were assured that, while there was no wifi, Mike would assist us with a broadband card/stick.  Fine.  I asked Mike about the stick on Saturday when he picked us up at the airport, and he told us he could “definitely have that for you tomorrow.”  When he arrived without it on Sunday, I asked again.  Turns out that the store where the stick gets loaded up isn’t open on Sunday.  He assures me that he can bring it on Monday.  Surprisingly, he does.  We plug it in to our laptop and…nothing.  Mike, who also reports using this very same type of internet access, seems to be unclear on how it might function.  The only thing he does seem to know is that you have to be careful to disconnect properly or you’ll “burn through your time really quick.”  Andrew suggests that the power outage (which we thought was island-wide at this point) may be the issue.  Mike happily agrees with that, and explains to us where we can buy more time for the stick, if needed. 

When we arrived home to power, we tried the broadband stick again.  Still nothing.  We poke around a bit in the message history and, despite the fact that it’s all in Spanish, can see that the last time it was loaded with any time (7 days) was in early January.  Sigh.  I am guessing that, if asked, he’d tell us that we did something wrong and, like he warned, used up that seven days of access he loaded on. 

At this point, we’ve given up on Mike as a reliable source of information.  On the upside, the owner’s parents are staying in the main house next door.  Vinnie & LJ are from New York, and they are everything you’d expect them to be – talkative, assertive, and opinionated.  They are also extremely helpful in terms of sharing information.  Every time they see me outside, they are offering tips and poking lists of phone numbers and restaurant recommendations at us through the fence.  They’re our own personal Trip Advisor!  At least until we get the broadband issue figured out. 


Post script – we have broadband access!  We took the stick to a Tigo dealer in town and, for $28.25, we have 30 days and/or 5.5 GB of data.  Thanks, Mike. 

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